I suppose I deserve a KOTA for watching this movie. My roommate and I thought we'd get a kick out of watching a bad movie. Duh! We started out watching with our laptops at arms' length, in case we got bored. 10 minutes into the movie the laptops were out. In another 10 minutes, phone calls were being made. 1 hour later, I was fast asleep on the couch. I guess the saving grace was that we didn't actually sit through the whole shebang.
I am perplexed, nay, astounded by RGV's remake(sic) of Sholay. It was worse than his other bad movies...which considering that he made a "Mast" is saying something indeed. I beg an answer to the following questions from RGV. Indeed he has a lot to answer to, for butchering Sholay. In fact he didn't just butcher it, he chopped into millions of miniscule pieces, so its hard for us to even recognise that its a remake. Which in a roundabout way, is, I suppose, a good thing. Anyways, here are my questions dear sir. I know you don't read my blog, but thats OK. It just makes me feel better to get this out of my system. Then I can go back to cellular senescence and TCF-4 without this really bad SH(a)AG buzzing around in my head.
1). Why does the camera have to zoom around like a drunken arthropod? It made me dizzy.
2). Why does Nisha Kothari's ass get more footage than her face?
3). Who is this Prashant dude who looks marginally cute, but spoils it all by talking?
4). Why does Ajay Devgan keep saying "Yes"?
5). What was Mohanlal thinking when he accepted this role? He can't speak Hindi to save his life. Hema Malini in the original, speaks poor hindi too...but hey..she's Hema Malini, magnificently, flamingly, beautiful. On the other hand, no amount of fungal outgrowth on ML's face will prevent people from remarking on his Hindi.
6). Why does Sushmita Sen try so hard and fail so miserably at capturing Radha's heartache and grief? Radha was haunting in her tightly wrapped sorrow. Sen is merely unremarkable. On the good side..she doesn't suck, unlike most of the others.
7). WTF is Rajpal Yadav doing? God knows I am his biggest fan and think "Main, Meri patni aur Woh" is an awesome movie..but seriously, what is he doing? Why does he keep referring to all and sundry as "darrrling?"
8). Why does Babban have a family? Why does he actually love someone? Gabbar was pure unadulterated evil. He had no family for chrissakes!
9). Dear RGV, you are a good filmmaker. You made "Satya" for heavens' sake. Now that your flirtation with remaking epics is over and done with, could you please go back to making movies' that you know how to make? Dark movies' about underworld dons and corrupt cops. Not Sholay. Please. Not Sholay.
Oh...one last question....
10). Why is growling into a woman's face, snarling at her like an animal with a toothache, considered sexy?
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