Spicing up the sauce. Strictly cheeni kum.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Koffee, Mallika, Meiyang, Ankita

I spent this weekend catching up with Indian TV. I watched all the piano rounds of Indian Idol3 and several episodes of Koffee with Karan-season2.

Indian Idol3...none of the singers seem terribly impressive. Charu is very good, as is Emon. Meiyang is cute, and sings well, but I think can only sing one kind of song...soft and romantic. Richa sings like a child. Smita sings well, but needs to learn to compose herself. It was sad to watch her say that she thought she would be voted out because of her looks. I wish she would have more confidence in herself, because I don't think her singing can be separated from the other aspects of her personality and until she is confident about herself, as a person,she probably will not reach her potential as a singer. And Alisha needs a KOTA for always harping on about her not being a "complete package". Presumably singing is an important part of this package deal, and Suhit couldn't sing to save his life. And Alisha staunchly supported him...unbelievable!

Udit is probably the best judge...well atleast he and I seemed to agree on the singers! He is encouraging, says exactly the right things about their singing. Also, he seems to wear his heart on his sleeve...love that.

A word about Ankita...she seemed to be the most disliked girl in the group. Personally, I thought she was not a bad singer at all. I know they do all the drame-baazi for extra kicks, but all the girls seemed incredibly bitchy, mostly about her! And she seemed relatively unfazed by it..what a thick-skinned 17 year old. This new generation is just so bratty and full of themselves. Its pretty incredible!

"Koffee" with Karan.

This show is like a latte..light and frothy. I can do light and frothy for a bit. I only need my coffee black once in a way. Karan is better and bitchier than ever. Shah Rukh is so pompous its stopped being funny now. Rani...really, for once in your life tell the truth- In the event of a plane crash you would not save yourself but would save SRK and Kajol! Puhleeze dahling! Kajol...same old bubbly Kajol, a little less effervescent, but fun to watch none the less.

I really enjoyed watching Mallika and Sanjay Leela Bhansali. Eccentric and ego-centric as he is, he still came across as pretty sane. She is just so screwed up. She thinks people will notice her only if she says these crazy things that don't make much sense.(I will only make friends with people who are ready to be subservient to me!) To be honest, it seems to have worked for her....so what the heck. I hope she doesn't believe half the crap she spouts. Because thats what it is...BS.

The others only get short descriptions:
Kareena-dumb
Shahid-smarter than her for sure
Karisma-looked gorgeous
Hrithik-funny
Priyanka-chalta hai
Tabu-chilled out
Shoha De-takes herself too seriously
Vijay Mallya-came across as a cool dude. KJo was hopelessly out of depth when Mallya started talking about stakeholders and government. You could see KJo's eyes glaze over.
Konkona-boring
Kunal Kapoor-seriously hot
Riteish Deshmukh-endearing
Hema Malini-sincere and soooo beautiful
Jaya "aunty"- hopelessly insincere
Shweta Nanda-spoilt brat
Esha Deol-Didn't say much
Sanjay Dutt-all heart
Priya Dutt-very smart
Preity Zinta-Flat Coke
Bobby Deol-reasonably sensible
Saif Ali Khan-beleaguered

As is obvious...I watched about 30 hours of television this weekend. More than I have watched in 1 whole year. It was fun while it lasted.

So, to make up for it I watched Oceans 13 last night. I actually dozed off for about 10 minutes in between. 'Nuff said.

Friday, June 8, 2007

10 things that bother me...A LOT!

10). Chocolate with nuts in 'em. Its a corruption of chocolate. Give me pure milk chocolate anyday. Cadbury's/Galaxy/Godiva. Love'em all..but no nuts please, thank you very much.

9). Loud, obnoxious tourists who spoil lovely 3 hour cruises for everyone with their incessant chatter, attention-seeking behaviour, and worst of all...screaming kids.

8). The constant nattering in Chinese that goes on in the lab. Its rude and insensitive, and they seem oblivious to both these critical facts. Pah!

7). People who take you out for ice-cream and then make you wait(in the cold!) for 5 minutes outside Baskin Robbins while they fish around in their coupon book for a lousy coupon that will take 1$ or some such silly amount off the ice-cream. Makes me want to weep and tear my hair out. The nutty coconut doesn't taste half as good after these shenanigans!

6). The super-smart but marginally obnoxious guy in the lab down the hall who always proclaims he will give up science go back home to sell oranges one day. Its a damned lie and he knows it. There is no way he will EVER trade dissecting E3.5 embryos(and a possible publication in a high profile journal!) for oranges. Why not just admit that you enjoy your work and you're good at it? Oh no...that would never do! Why..that would mean telling the truth!!

5). The other not-so-smart, but very nice, and CUTE guy down the hall. He should not be in the pet peeve list..but he is. Because I heart his cute butt and cannot tell him because he has a girlfriend! Damn her!!

4). My hair on humid days. No explanation required.

3). Not being able to figure out why an experiment is not working. This makes me so mad...I lie awake at night trying to figure out why. This phenomenon has been responsible for far too many sleepless nights lately!

2). Pav Bhaji with corn in it. Which is how it turns out if you make it with the frozen mixed veggies. What self-respecting pav-bhaji has corn? Its sacrilege really.

1). Parents\relatives\friends trying to set me up with men because its "time I settled down". I give up on this one and will not bother to expound. Its worth an entire post all by itself.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

I PASSED!

Its over. I passed the qualifying exam yesterday. 2 hours of sometimes brutal cross-examination. They said I did well though. My proposal was apparently very well written. And if I didn't know everything....well nobody expects a 2nd year student to know everything. Heck, nobody knows everything. Hong was happy, my mom is relieved. She has been here the last 20 days or so. I drove her nuts. So she's glad its all over. I need to get back to the real world now. Gels, cells and the like.

I slept at 10.30 last night for the 1st time in 3 months. Life is good.

Boston beckons this weekend. Oh..and the Ringling circus as well. And a Zakir Hussain concert. Yes..it all looks good. Very very very good!

Sunday, February 18, 2007

The Wedding

7.30 am EST, Friday

“But I don’t want to.”

“Please kanna , you have to. You’re 28 years old. All your friends are married. Most of them have children. Your cousins are married. My friends’ children are married. Every 28 year old Tamil Iyer girl we know is married. Even that nasty little Avantika is married..You know the one, she had 5 or 6 boyfriends.”

“Mom, she had 2…and she married the second one. And she’s a really nice person. “

“Aiyyo. Look, Nandini, I don’t care if Avantika had 20 boyfriends. I want you to meet Subbu.”

“Amma, that name…Subbu. I can’t marry someone named Subbu.”

“It’s a perfectly good name. In fact it was my grandfather’s name. At least meet him once. He has a good job. He works in Boston, close to where you work. The horoscopes match beautifully. It seems like his chevvai dosham cancels out yours. His parents don’t seem to care that you are Moola nakshatram. It’s all perfect. Oh…and he’s not bad looking. 6 feet tall and all. I think he is perfect for you. Just meet him once.”

“Amma, I haven’t even seen his picture. I don’t care what he looks like. Mom, what about the other things…. the important things. Does he read books? Does he like to stay home or go out? Does he watch sports, or even play them? Does he enjoy hiking?”

“Since when have you started hiking anyway?”

“I haven’t. I’m just giving an example.”

“If you don’t hike, do you care if he does?”

“Yes, I do. What if he comes home all smelly and sweaty from the hike?”

“He’ll bathe. You will have a bathroom in the house!”

“Amma, please don’t make me do this. I don’t want to meet and marry some stranger because our astrological paths match perfectly. Please, amma, try and understand.”

“Aiyyo. You have an American boyfriend. I knew it. Vellakaara paiyyan oda sutharaya ni”

“Amma. You know that’s not true. I have to go now. I have to get to work. Talk to you later.”

“Subbu will call you sometime today or tomorrow. He has your cell number. Bye kanna, take care. It will all work out, you’ll see.”

Nandini put the phone down, sighed heavily and heaved herself to her feet. She would have to meet him. There was no getting out of it. Her mother was nothing if not persistent. She headed to the shower, trying to think of ways to put him off.

8 pm EST, Friday

“Oh…so you like Kamal movies too. That’s great, I just love Mahanadi. Oh, and Nayakan..Isn’t he superb in that, especially that last scene?

“The one in which he chops the villain’s head off…yes. I thought that was done with finesse. Few people can decapitate with such elegance.” said Nandini, rolling her eyes.

“That’s great. I think we are going to get along beautifully. Why don’t we meet…say tomorrow evening? How about Tamarind Bay, you know where it is right?”

“I know where it is.”

“OK, lets meet there at 7 tomorrow?”

“OK. See you there. Bye.”

“Look forward to it. See you. Bye.”

Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. That had been a 20-minute conversation in which she had attempted to insult him at least 7 times. Either he was really dumb. Or really desperate to get married. Either way, it wasn’t going to be a fun evening.

7.15 pm EST, Saturday

She was late. It had taken forever to find parking. She pushed the doors of the restaurant open and stepped in. She spotted a lone desi sitting at a corner booth and studied him for a minute, before walking upto him.

Damn, this would hurt. He was kind of cute. He wore a grey sweater over blue jeans. He had nice hair, a few strands of which fell onto his forehead. He wore glasses. Clean-shaven. All in all, a very nice package. Shoot. Why did he have to be cute?

She had decided on a direct approach. No beating about the bush. She was just going to tell him that she wasn’t interested in marriage, sorry for wasting his time etc.

“Hi. I’m Nandini. You must be Subbu.”

“Er-Yes. Hi Nandini.”

“Sorry I’m late. Couldn’t find parking,” she said as she sat down opposite him.

“That’s OK. Oh..Are you joining me for dinner?”

“Wasn’t that the idea?”

“Oh. Sure. Sure.”

“What will you have? Perhaps you’d care for a drink?”

“Some white wine would be great,” said Nandini, hoping he was a teetotaler and would be suitably put off by the idea of a Tamil Iyer girl drinking.

“Sounds good. I like white wine myself. Lets see what they have on their wine list.”

OK. He was cute and liked white wine. Double damn.

“Listen, I want to tell you something.”

“Sure.”

“I don’t want to get married. Not to you, or anyone else.”

“Oh-why?”

Were his eyes twinkling?

“I’m not interested in this arranged marriage thing. I don’t believe in it.”

“You don’t believe in an institution that has worked for several generations in India? People have arranged marriages and live happily all the time. My parents are a perfect example. 32 years they’ve been married.”

“Look, My parents are happily married too. It’s just that I don’t feel like I can do it. It’s too restrictive for me. I need to be able to take my own decisions, independently.”

“And who’s forcing you into anything. You are free to say no to any man you don’t like. To say No, without giving someone a chance though, tells me something about you.

Nandini was seething by now. She hadn’t come here to be read a lecture on her beliefs and character. “What does it tell you about me?”

“You’re chicken.”

“What? How dare you? I’m chicken because I don’t want to marry someone after having dinner with him once! I’m not chicken…I’m sane. And I’m leaving this minute.”

“Well, have some wine before you leave. I hate drinking alone.”

“No, thank you.”

“Chicken.”

“Oh..what the heck. One glass of wine.”

Several glasses of wine and 3 tequila shots later…

“Do you like hiking?” asked Nandini


11 am EST, Sunday

“Amma, I have a terrible headache, I’ll have to call you back.”

“I don’t care about your headache. Why didn’t you go to meet Subbu yesterday? I got an irate phone call from his mother. They are very upset. Apparently, he waited 3 hours for you to show up.”

“Amma, Enna sollara ni? I met him. He was nice. I think I could consider marrying him. I’ll want to meet him several times more though”

“Well, he won’t marry you now, not after what you pulled last night. I’m ashamed of you. Is this what your father and I have taught you? You have embarrassed us. I didn’t know what to say to his mother. Apparently he tried to call you several times throughout the evening. You didn’t take any of his calls”

Nandini sat up straight in her bed. “Amma, I had dinner with him last night. I don’t understand what you are saying? Look, I have a bad headache, I’ll call you back later.”

What was going on? Was this Subbu’s way of taking revenge for saying No? She remembered saying No to him. Then he had called her chicken. Then they had had a drink. Well, more than one drink. Actually, by the end of the evening they’d been drunk silly. She’d taken a cab home. The bulk of the middle of the evening was a blank. No wait, she remembered. He liked playing Tennis and had seen ”The Godfather” 17 times.
Had he kissed her goodnight? She had a feeling he had. It was all very fuzzy though. What was going on?

Her doorbell rang.

“Hi Nandini”

“You jerk, did you tell your parents that I didn’t show up?”

‘No. I actually haven’t spoken to my parents in 3 days.”

“Then why did my mom call me and tell me that your mom called her and said that I was a no-show.”

“Because, I imagine that Subbu may have told his mother that. After all, the poor guy probably waited for you a few hours I imagine.”

“OK..You are cuckoo. You know that right, Subbu? We had dinner last night, remember?

”Well, not so much eating as drinking happened, but that’s just semantics. Oh, and I prefer to be called Sri.”

“Sri…why?”

“Because that’s my name, Sridhar Subramanian. Most people call me Sri. Few people call me Subbu. I don’t like it. It sounds, you know…”

“Ok, let me get this straight. You are not Subbu, who works at Nyxtel Systems, whose horoscope matches mine perfectly. You are not the guy I was supposed to have dinner with last night?”

“None of the above. I think our horoscopes may match though. We got along pretty well, no?”

“Then, who the hell are you?”

“Sridhar Subramanian. I’m a scientist at MIT. I was having a quiet dinner alone at Tamarind House last night, when you decided to join me.”

“Tamarind House, Shoot, I was supposed to go to Tamarind Bay!” said Nandini, her voice tinged with dismay.

“Uh-sorry! Look, can I come in. We might as well have breakfast. I bought some bagels”

“How did you know where I lived?”

“We shared a cab last night. I dropped you off first. It’s not hard to figure out which apartment you live in. There was only one N.Padmanabhan.”

“Oh. Ok, you might as well come in. I don’t appreciate your tricking me like that last night though.”

“Sorry ‘bout that. But technically, I didn’t trick you. You made an assumption.”

“You’re not married are you?” asked Nandini, suddenly suspicious.

“I wouldn’t have kissed you if I’d been married.”

“Oh, so that did happen.”

“Yep, Sure did.”



6 months later…10.30 am IST, Chennai

“So, finally Mrs.Padmanabhan’s daughter gets married today.” said Mr.Narayanaswamy to his wife, as they jostled along to the wedding in a rickshaw.

“Yes. She is quite old, 29 apparently.” replied his wife

“Hmm. Love marriage I hear?”

“Yes. They didn’t even match horoscopes,” said his wife in a scornful voice.

“Appidiya. Paravaillai. Atleast he is a Tamil Iyer. She’s old you know. They must have been happy just to have her married off.”

“Yes. I hope that never happens with our Uma. I hope we get her married before she is 24.”

“Maybe there will be some nice boys at the wedding.”

“Maybe”

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Qualifiers!

I have a meeting with Hong tomorrow to discuss any potential ideas I may have for my qualifiers. Here's the thing....I've been racking my brains for the last week....and NOTHING! ZIP! NADA! I'm clueless, and this is scary. Especially since I have read several papers this last week, in the hope that something will inspire, excite, stimulate my grey cells. In vain. And I need an idea...NOW.

I am way too dumb to be a graduate student. Period.