Foolish, silly Beatrice!

I am not a Shakespeare reader. The only play I ever read was "As you like it". And that because it was compulsory reading in Class X at snobby St.Mary's. But for some inexplicable reason, my Netflix queue had "Much Ado about nothing" in it. So, when it arrived yesterday, I was compelled to watch it. And I was pleasantly surprised. Because not only did I understand most part of the ye olde English, but I also enjoyed it. Excellent acting, well-made movie. Light-hearted fun.

One particular passage stuck in my head. Partly because I was so struck with it that I played it back over and over again.

DON PEDRO
Will you have me, lady?
BEATRICE
No, my lord, unless I might have another for
working-days: your grace is too costly to wear
every day. But, I beseech your grace, pardon me: I
was born to speak all mirth and no matter.
DON PEDRO
Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best
becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in
a merry hour.

Now, I have frequently thought that I was made to speak all mirth and no matter. But if Mr.Hotness Personified, Denzel Washington was telling Me that my silence offended him, and to be merry best became me...my answer would have been:

I'll get the garlands. We can cut your finger for sindoor. Chuck the mangalsutra for now. You can buy me one on our honeymoon! I'll see you at the Pahari-wala temple in five!

Update: I just remembered..I can't marry DZ. If he had said I was born in a merry hour, I would have laughed in his face, and he would have stalked off in princely anger. Because I was born under the most unfavorable nakshatram of Moolam. Merry...duh! I'm told I'm a positive harbinger of evil. So thats that. Real life obtrudes on pleasant dream scenario again. Damn!

Misery!

I have a terrible case of the sniffles. My voice sounds like a foghorn. My nose is runny. I hurt all over. Sneeze! Sneeze! Cough! Cough! I feel the flu coming on...

I really cannot work with the stinky mice today. I'm going home.

Life sucks!

Dearest Amma,

I am glad that you find my blog a source of enjoyment. I have always known that you have a fiendish sense of humour. Why else would you name me Charusheila (and spell sheila with an "ei", making it practically impossible for me to have a single important document that spells my name right?) And why else would you bestow upon me a nickname that I would never in a 100 years disclose on a blog?

In any case, being an acchi beti, I must dutifully submit that anything that brings you enjoyment, is worth doing!

Love,

Your much beleaguered daughter

To cheat or not to cheat...that is the question!

I was doing my weekly round of the holy trinity of scientific journals (Nature, Cell, Science) when I found this article about Woo-Suk Hwang, and how he was back in business in Thailand. It reminded me of an ethics course I took in the Spring Semester. One that I fully hated. Partly because it was organized in a manner calculated to put anyone who has an IQ above 2 to sleep. Partly because it upset me. I believe we discussed 5 cases of scientific misconduct in detail. 3 of those cases involved Indians. The other 2 were of the esteemed gentleman mentioned above, and a Japanese couple whose names I forget. In any case, all Asian.

Now, all of the cases we discussed were well-known instances of scientific misconduct. They included the Amitav Hajra case, the most astonishing tale of one Dr.Ram Singh, and the more fuzzy case of Vipin Kumar. Amitav Hajra owned up to his cheating. Dr.Ram Singh was the comic relief in this very bad Bollywood movie. He was the supremely annoying, bad "Madrasi" accented Mehmood. His most hilarious claim was that he couldn't produce the data because the termites ate it! Vipin Kumar was found guilty, but seems to have moved onto other things in life.

In any case, the reason this made me uncomfortable, was that I had to go into a room filled with 10 American students, and discuss these cases. And the question that remained unasked directly, but hung around the room like a pungent fart, was this: Are Indians more prone to cheating than people of other nationalities? They wouldn't be blamed for asking this question because 3 students(all Indian) from my class were kicked out of graduate school in the first year for plagiarism. Another 2 from the year above mine were also asked to leave around the same time for the same reason. They were Indian too. 5 cases of plagiarism in 1 year...and all of them were Indian. And while I don't know the details of the case involving the people in the year above mine(And hence,am loth to comment on them. Innocent until proven guilty and all that), I am intimately acquainted with the happenings that led to the dismissal of my colleagues. Let's just say there's no smoke without fire.

My first reaction to the choice of cases in the ethics course was that of anger. I felt that the person organizing the course had deliberately picked these cases. Why, I don't know. She could just be racist, or she may want to prove a point in a very obvious way. To give her the benefit of the doubt, she could also be insensitive enough to not realize that she had picked cases that were overwhelmingly from 1 community, and hence might be construed as offensive. It bothered me to the extent that I went around asking faculty members in my department whether they felt that they had seen more cases of scientific misconduct by Asians than Americans. Every person I asked said No. One of them even suggested I make my displeasure known to higher authorities. Which of course, being a spineless wimp, I didn't do.

But after I gave it some thought, I realized that we are a country where integrity is given short shrift. If you get caught by a "mama" for not wearing a helmet, you quickly whip out a Rs.50 note, and you're on your way. If you want to get your drivers' license, don't even think about going to the RTO without an "agent" to smooth your way. You want an internship completion certificate, when you didn't do your rural posting...Rs.3000, and you're home free. I remember one Obs/Gynae exam that we took in the third year. Every single student in the class barring me and a bosom pal, had their textbooks open underneath their desks. The Proctor knew what was going on. She just didn't care. Chalta hai, na!

We do seem to accept corruption without question in India. Is this why we cheat? Because we don't see it as wrong? Or are the incidents above isolated cases? I believe they are. I think it is always a deeply personal choice to cheat. Just like the way people choose to fall in love with A instead of B, or prefer Palak Paneer to Baingan Bartha. I'm in agreement with the author of this excellent article. But I can't help wondering if our morals have been slightly loosened by the nonchalant acceptance of what is clearly wrong in our country. I hope not.

Carpe Diem.....ummm...err...not really!

"Carpe Diem", said Robin Williams in "Dead Poets' Society", which I watched last night. Seize the day! It seemed to work for the young men around him. They certainly were inspired. Me..not so much. The movie was just OK. Some parts were OTT. And they spent way too much time over the suicide scene. I mean...you know the kid is going to kill himself. Why spend 10 minutes dressing it up, or in this case, dressing him down? And now I know where Robin Williams started with the whole eccentric, free-thinking professor role that he finished so well in Good Will Hunting. Now that, was a great movie. Matt Damon was brilliant, not to mention, easy on the eyes.

In any case, this is not a review of DPS or GWH. This is about the fact that I've been trying to Carpe Diem for the last 1 week now, without success. Its much easier to BS on my blog, than to actually write a grant, which needs to make enough scientific sense for the reviewer to consider handing over a reasonable sum of money over to me. So I can make that long awaited trip to Naples.

I'm off to try and think up a brilliant hypothesis..or atleast, one that sounds plausible.