What I did this Christmas...

I spent Christmas with family at Philly. And on the journey there and back I finished reading a biography of Catherine the Great by Virginia Rounding. I was in Borders to buy a gift for a 2 year old. I couldn't find anything suitable for the kid, so I bought her a gift card and ME a nice book.

Its an interesting read. Unlike some historical tomes which can be exceedingly boring, this one is very readable. In fact, at times it reads a bit like a salacious romance novel. I'd heard that Catherine was a bit of a flirt, but this was a revelation. She changed lovers like we change toothpaste tubes. That apart, it was interesting to read about the life and politics of the day. I only wish there was more of it. The book certainly focused more on Catherine's private life and her personality, more than her political prowess. I find descriptions of dress and furniture tedious, but Rounding does a nice job of going beyond the mundane. She gets into the skin of her main character very well. A well-rounded portrait of Catherine and Orlov and Potemkin and her son Paul emerges. She comes across as humane, fickle, intelligent, manipulative, a woman of taste who enjoyed the arts and a stateswoman capable of keeping people at bay and under her thumb. A beloved ruler, a loving grandmother, a very generous lover (she treated all her lovers extremely well, even after casting them off!) and a power-hungry wife, quite capable of plotting not just a coup to overthrow her husband, but also his cold-blooded murder. All in all, a woman of many parts with shades of grey that make her an enigmatic figure. Also interesting was her matter of fact description of how Catherine was treated after she gave birth. Apparently, her job of producing the heir being done, she didn't merit clean sheets after the delivery. Hard to believe a princess being treated with such indifference and outright cruelty. Also interesting (and horrific) was to read of the plague that killed 1/3 of Moscow's population during her reign. I think I'm going to buy a book about Plague in the Middle Ages next.

I also watched a couple of movies over the holiday weekend. I watched Night Shyamalam's The Happening. It was pretty awful. I think he's fallen off the wagon. Signs was bad. Lady in the water was terrible. But this one's plain atrocious. No clear explanation. Just some weird thing that makes people kill themselves in bad bad ways. Its not even scary. A trifle gruesome in parts. But thats about it. I also watched Burn after reading. That was brilliant. I loved Clooney and Pitt. And Tilda Swinton and John Malkovich. And Frances McDormand is awesome. I think I didn't not love anyone. Its playful, dark, silly, funny, plain old crazy and has a mind of its own. Cool.

Very nice cousins also drove me to Edison, New Jersey, a completely amazing place for me, coming from a place with no such Indian community. There are Desi Mithai shops, Cafes, Patel Cash and Carrys and Deepa Auto works and Indo-Chinese restaurants and God knows what else. I had the time of my life. Seriously good food. I bought Kalakand that was almost as good as the one at Chitale Bandhu back home. Foodie heaven.

So, yeah I had a great Christmas. Here's looking forward to a wonderful New Year! I hope it brings happiness and success and all that is good for everyone.

Slumdog Millionaire

I went in with high expectations and came out feeling disappointed. Its a Bollywood flick made in English with a narrative calculated to shock the sensibilities, and therefore, arouse the sympathy of a Western audience. Imagine the worst things that could happen to human being in his life before he turns 18. He is orphaned, forced to beg, narrowly escapes being maimed, his brother rapes the girl he loves, he becomes a chaiwallah, and then wins "Who wants to be a millionaire" because he knows the answers to the exact questions he's asked on the show, through "life lessons".

There are a couple of Jokes that you need to have a knowledge of Indian culture and history to get. Like Surdas being the author of the Bhajan the blind kid is forced to sing...which is entitled..Darshan de bhagwan. And there is a gross scene in which the kid Jamal jumps into a pile of poop so he can get the Big B's autograph. And Anil Kapoor is awesome as the the obnoxious host of the game show. But ever since Taal, Anil Kapoor has always done those larger than life roles justice. For the rest, Dev Patel looks like the hapless kid he is. Freida Pinto has a meaty role that she doesn't do enough with. Irrfan Khan is amazing...as usual.

But on the whole..the movie was a letdown. I have no doubt the Western audiences lapped it up. From the clapping and cheering in the movie theatre, I got the feeling they really liked it. And, btw, its been consistently selling out at least on weekends at the theatre where I usually go that shows independent movies. Its the whole hungry, naked, exploited Indian kids' theme. Glorify the slums, the shit that lies everywhere, the heaps of garbage, the gangs of evil men who force children into begging and prostitution. Throw in a love story. And voila. One very touching movie with excellent reviews that may even bag a few Oscars.

But, my disappointment with the movie apart, how the heck did a gali-ka-kutta with no education manage to speak such good English? The least they could've done is made the movie in Hindi. His accented English makes it all the more unbelievable.

Funny tales

With all the happenings of last week, humor has been in short supply. But, everyday life is not without its moments. Some of those include:

Plaxico Burress shooting himself in the foot, literally. (OK, OK..it was his thigh. But bad pun opportunities are hard to come by.) A couple of inches off and the the world wouldn't have any more little Plaxicos running around. Is that a bad thing? Consider the name...Plaxico!

Arianna Huffington was on Jon Stewart last night. It was painful to watch. Stewart went easy on her, but she still came across as a blithering idiot trying to convince the world to read her book and start a blog. So she says, "You know Jon, I bet you have many more thoughts than you can put across through your TV show." Stewart responds: "There's a reason those thoughts are not on my TV show!"

A better show, was the night before with Calvin Trillin. His ode to Sarah Palin: "On a clear day, I can see Vladivostok." I have ordered the book. His humor seems almost Wodehousian. Love it.

This is a joke. A bad one. But a joke, all the same. And these clowns on CNN are bent on perpetuating this myth that the Pakistanis have been propagating..that they are victims too. The unsuspecting Pakistani public: maybe. Not the excuse for a government. Not the ISI. And certainly not Zardari. The Pakistanis have always been media savvy. What we need is a dhansu spokesperson for the Indian government. Not the expressionless wonder Manmohan Singh. An articulate, smart, chalu, spokesperson. Who can lie as well as Zardari, but lacking his crassness.